i was going to write something fluffy and eloquent about this week. but i'm not. the week was good. i just feel heavy right now so don't feel like writing some drawn out paragraph. so i'll just be honest.
there are lots of people in my life who love me more than i deserve and soften my heart when it feels hardened by fear and bitterness and critique.
i love colors.
i love Spring. this week i went running with my room mate and she kept poking fun at me becuase i kept leaping and freaking out over the wildflowers blooming and all the different colored trees.
i did a crazy workout and kick boxed for the first time with some awesome ladies.
i cut my hair. like a lot. for the first time since like middle school. i like it
i walked around tucson a lot
i took entirely too many pictures of a single yellow tree. so many that i started to get dizzy from looking up.
my boyfriend, caleb took the first picture of me. it's one of my new favorites and i feel very special that he'd watch me nerd out on trees and colorful strings of flags.
i started reading this new book called If You Feel Too Much by the founder of one of my favorite organizations To Write Love on Her Arms. It's about heaviness and lightness and depression and coping and hope and strength. I started tearing up when i read the forward. not because it was sad but because i could feel the strength it took to make the book. the strength to accept hope and belief in the midst of the unpredicatable and often debilitating cloud of depression. and i've cried about four other times since opening it. want some truth? i was reading it in the bathroom (come on, you know you do that. we all look at our phones or read something when we're sitting on the toilet). and the chapter was especially heavy. so there i am bawling with my pants down. no joke. it's good. it's really good. it really is like the comfort of a friend. the knowledge that you're not alone in it -the heaviness and the light.
phew. see. i already feel lighter. thanks for listening and looking.
enjoy week 7 :)